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Vive La France! Another article about croissants and the strolls by the Seine? No. The country that hosts Paris, wine, cheese, luxury bags, a famous Riviera and countless other blessings that are both natural and man-made. When you come to France to live, as a native English speaker, you can be just that and live here, observing always the way ‘they’ do things while you star in your own living in France dream, and admire and sometimes cuss the differences. Or you can also dive in deeper beyond the cliché’s about carrying a baguette while wearing a stripy top and red lipstick and understand how the big things behind France’s culture that give rise to the little things that make it just so.   

There is a certain type of Anglo-Saxon culture, where anything that costs more than nothing is ‘expensive’ you must spend as little as possible as there is apparently a limited supply of everything. The French pioneered the metiers that create beautiful things with using deep, irreplaceable expertise in artisan production methods in art, fashion, food. The cliché of the French woman’s wardrobe having three items hanging it is not such an exaggeration.  They buy well-made clothes at a reasonable price mostly and wear it regularly. France does not have it’s own answer to a Zara or a Next or Forever21. That’s not to say that there are not small shops selling cheap clothes and items for the home. Local market often fills this gap as well, with thousands of iterations of Isabel Marant being sold for less than 20 euros.  

‘British manners rule the world’ said Mohammed al Fayad in the last season of The Crown. Manners were designed to be a social lubricant, social cohesion, a way for all of us to live alongside and have relationships and do business leaving the other person feeling good for it. The philosopher David Hume and the author Henry Hitchings defined them as “a kind of lesser morality, calculated for the ease of company and conversation” and spoke of the “companionable virtues of good manners and wit, decency and genteelness”. In other words, these are virtues that sit well together and enable us to sit well together. They are not a form of self-abnegation, but instead lubricants of sociability”.  But they also used to disguise deceitful behaviour, to manipulate and to gaslight those who may speak up. Manners are frequently used to silence victims and whistle-blowers. In fact, in polite society there never is a victim is there, it was all her own fault. 

Anglo Saxons crow endlessly about rules holding back business, and themselves. Liz Truss in the UK “underlined the importance of growth to the UK economy by linking it to the need to cut taxes…slash regulation, boost investment, and improve public services”.  The much-derided rules and regulations in France exist for a reason. They are one of the reasons French productivity is high despite working less hours. The rules stop time being wasted on misleading offers. Chasing up being ripped off, providing restitution to customers after trying to rip them off, all eats into productivity. If you can’t work within the rules, which exist to benefit everyone, are you even running a business? Or are you essentially a giant egocentric three-year-old steamroller-ing over everyone around you? 

In France, the culture of revolution exists to protect the ordinary person from the interest of the  1% from creeping into everything like Ivy.  French people protect their rights to time – which is at its core the true essence of life and is more precious than money.  They see going to the gym to undo 50 hours of sitting as a false economy, they have time to walk to work or play in the park with their kids.  The work from home ‘revolution’ was already in place, and with many kids at home all or half days’ on Wednesdays the family has time to do activities, cook and relax together. 

The Anglo Saxons seek to minimise and avoid taxes wherever possible. Is it a deep-seated lack of respect for the government that drives it (they who seek to enforce those dreaded ‘rules’ should just stay out of my business!), a culture that puts the individual at the centre of the universe, which, sitting at the French table, reflects a lack of respect for your fellow man. The French pay social charges, in addition to taxes, and to avoid paying them is socially unacceptable. Everyone contributes for the benefit of everyone because they are a community and a society. 

As observed in Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction…. when you go overseas, it’s the little things. Like over here, when you go into a shop, people greet you and you are expected to greet them.  There’s no expectation of engaging into a deeper conversation or indeed frivolous disingenuous conversation that will lead to a purchase, it’s not a sales tactic, just pure civility. A connected society, one person acknowledging or welcoming the other into their store or presence

The bus maybe crowded but people are considerate of those around them. No one needs to be told to let people of the train first, they just do it, it’s common sense. Women are people. Not sex objects, not free home help, not child bearers. They are all those things and still people. 

Want to get a house in France? You need The ‘Dossier’. If you thought it was only something spy agencies collected on their targets, you’re mistaken. It lives and breathes in France as a pile of papers to verify who you are, what you have, where you come from and tell us what you’re likely to be like, what you represent, what kind of space you take up in the world, in this very much a society. The dossier probably has a history going back a hundred years or more right, when everything was on paper, and letters of recommendation were common place to even open a bank account. In fact, the modern dossier requires a guarantor, effectively a letter of recommendation in the form of someone putting actual money where their pen was and guaranteeing they will pay your rent if they don’t. Who has these kinds of friends or family? 

Modern technology comes to France with their startups and great ideas, and the Guarantee is now ‘disrupted’ so that anyone with an appropriate amount of money can remove that hurdle. So, you have some money but no person to guarantee, who are you? You’re an individual. Unencumbered, untethered and unaccountable to anyone but yourself. You can do anything you want. Except rent a property unless a startup is willing to back you. 

So that’s what it is, a part of being French. Learning verbs and being connected and accountable. 

And the other thing about France and being French is that it’s not a noun, it’s a verb. Very much a verb. It’s more than the passport and the language, the food and fashion.  It’s taking the time to get dressed before going out of your bedroom even. We wear loungewear at home, not pyjamas, and proper pants or an outfit even to the supermarket, because we live in a society and other people have to look at you. We never snack between meals; we have breakfast and then never ever get hungry before 12.00 which is lucky because no restaurant kitchens are open before then. Likewise, that meal better be good because there’s nothing till dinner at no earlier than 7.30pm. 

Everything is old to look out. You can jump, with English speaking world arrogance, to the conclusion that its somehow not as good as at home. But it is, it’s actually better. Cities AND people in France are allowed to age and still be valuable.